Tuesday, February 15, 2011

When to move on?

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since surgery and three weeks since we lost our baby. And somehow that feels like a lifetime ago. I am trying to get back into a "normal" routine of working out, running, church, etc. Definitely not easy. Most days I'd rather sit at home and sleep. But I don't. Especially with these two crazy cats! I found myself talking to a friend yesterday at the gym and starting to cry. I felt pretty silly crying in the gym, so she made a joke (as all good friends should) and helped me stop before I really got going. But I also left thinking, sheesh Alison pull yourself together! So my question of the day, to send out into the void is when am I supposed to move on? Although another friend said it well "you're not moving on, you're moving forward". And again, this was an early loss, but our second, so I'm having trouble "moving forward". I was told to keep writing, to help my feelings at least get off my chest and somewhere else. It does help. But I also read other blogs or stories and man do I feel like a big baby. Surely I should be stronger than this. Hey, I guess at least I have the worlds funniest two girls to keep me smiling. One who tells me today that she has a date to the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie (at least she's no longer calling it the Diarrhea Kid) and one who calls M&M's "beans"....they give me the best stuff to write in their baby books!

No comments:

Post a Comment