Thursday, January 19, 2012

She's a bit high maintenance....

Like mother like daughter has really, taken on an all new meaning. When I had our first daughter, I thought, oh Lord, paybacks are hell. Then, I had another one. Little did I know. I'm a firm believer in karma, or reaping what you sow, or what have you. And man am I getting it back 5 fold. I had plenty of corner moments. You know, "Alison, go stand in the corner!".....and my children don't know the meaning of that. Once, they learned it at Grammy's, but it's funny how it isn't as enforced as a grandchild. So that leaves me to do the parenting. Ho hum. So far this morning Sophia has called me stupid and stuck her tongue out at me. Don't worry, it didn't go unpunished. The Instigator sure tested her limits, but this one has a sharp tongue. She's a little stinker. Which brings me to the actual point of today's entry. Each morning, she steals my coffee. I started making her decaf when I realized she actually likes the stuff. Shoot, it took finals and a few all nighters in college to finally drink a cup. (and when I say a few all nighters, I literally mean, just a few.....maybe I didn't study hard enough). Since then I'm thinking I should either Franchise a Starbucks or at least purchase some stock. And Sophia is quickly following suit. The child loves a latte. She loves it black. She loves it anyway she can take it. I can just see it now, she's 16 in line for her morning coffee before school and she stands there and spouts out the most ridiculous order......"tall, nonfat, soy, half caff, vanilla latte, extra shot".....HA. And Dave thought it was going to be clothes and shoes that were the end of our finances......Lord help me.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

We have real life Willy Wonka's

So not only do my children look just like their Daddy, although I so graciously shared my body for 9+ months with each of them, but they also take after him in the candy eating department. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a good box of Dots on a rainy day or Milk Duds at the movies, but I certainly don't need to buy it like we have stock in it. Wine, however....well, that's another story. These girls have been known to be dead asleep and hear the rattling of a candy bag or wrapper and sit up and say "I WANT SOME!". Shoot, if you go in and kiss them goodnight after eating a sweet tart they sit up and *sniff sniff* - Did you have a purple sweet tart? WHAT?!?! How do they do that? I have told Dave numerous times that he needs to become a closet candy eater because these girls are going to have some serious dental problems, but he doesn't listen. Dinner time alone has become a series of negotiations worse than selling and buying a home for how many bites we must eat until we get this said candy. I suppose this could be a gift that they have. Maybe we should buy stock in candy or open up our own Wonka Factory? Ohhhh, we could hire some oompa loompa's!! Okay okay, so that's a bit crazy. But surely there is something they can do with this gift. Today I caught Sophia in the dining room while I was making her lunch. I said three times "Sophia, get out of the dining room"....after all there is a massive amount of breakable glass in that room....yet she never budged. Finally I walk in, find her under the table and she's eating chewy jolly ranchers! So now, I have finally achieved the closet candy eater, but just not with the person I told to do so. If ever you find a golden ticket in your chocolate bar, it could be from me. I think that candy making may be our calling. Guess I shouldn't fight it anymore......

Friday, January 6, 2012

How long did I sleep?

Apparently I have a teenage girl and I didn't know it. In the last week, the following has happened with the Instigator. And she's not yet 6.

1 - After getting bags of clothes from our neighbor as hand me downs (thanks Leigha!) she decided one morning to try on the "bigger" ones. She came out with a big Hollister t-shirt (although saying "big" to a Hollister tshirt is an oxymoron)....and she also had on something that she thought was shorts that say "cheer" on the rear. I'm thinking these were/are really panties. Anyway, she has her shirt hanging off of her shoulder, tied up on one side with a rubberband and the cheer "shorts". I say, oh, I see you found the bag of clothes?!?!? She said yes, I want more shirts she pulls it off her shoulder more. She's got another thing comin' if she thinks I'm going to allow her out of the house lookin' like that!!

2 - Just as I get over the tshirt incident thinking, oh that's funny, she informs her Pawpaw, and me and Daddy while overhearing this phone conversation, that she is in fact dating a boy. A teenage boy and he's 18 and they "go out". WHAT? Dave immediately says "you better not be or we're going to have some problems"......and I do know she is speaking of Kendall from Big Time Rush, aka BTR, but I do prefer that she doesn't broadcast this information.

3 - I'm sitting at morning assembly today and sat next to her friend's Dad. I didn't realize I had been sitting by him until he says "I hear Rylee has a birthday coming up".....I said, she does! He says to me "M came home telling me that Rylee is having a party and there will be teenagers there", to which a good Dad responded with "ummm, then you're not going". I had to clarify that she meant that she wants to have a few of the local Drill Team girls (Cavalettes) come and teach the girls a little routine and perform for the parents, thus the "teenagers".

How will I ever survive the real teenage years? She already rolls her eyes, tells me "that's embarassing" and asked me the other day where her bra was. (Grammy bought that one for her, not me)......holy monkey, where's the tylenol.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

New Year, New Post, New Potty?

Another year gone. Where does the time go? I wonder what 2012 will bring.....surely more comedy from the girls. We wrapped up the end of the year and went out with a bang for the holidays. But now it's time to move on and today, I'd like to discuss the art of potty training. What is it about the potty that doesn't appeal to this child? Rylee was done with ease shortly after 2. Yet the Silent Assassin, in true Silent Assassin form, finds every nook and cranny of the house to do her business in a pull up then proceed to tell me about it. If you KNOW you have to go, just tell me for Pete sake. (who is Pete and why is it for his sake?).....anyway, I've tried the special singing potty, a potty that looks like a frog (why a frog, is that more interesting to pee on?), I've tried candy, an arsenal of m&m's, gummy bears, hershey's kisses....shoot we've even resorted to promising 100 bones should she decide in a month she will be diaper free. No dice. Let me just say that I'm sick of supporting pampers and their multi billion dollar business of poo catchers. I know she won't get married this way, let's hope, or she may not get married. But o.m.g. let's do this thing! Her allergies prevent us from being able to really attack the numero dos department, I'll spare those details, but surely a little sprinkle in the froggy is possible. So, I simply leave it at if you have any magical mystery tips on how to get this child to give up these poo catchers from hell, please do share. Oh, and let me just note we've done the whole "just put her in panties"'s messy, she doesn't care and if you know how OCD we are, this is just not a good solution, but thanks.

Side note, I bought a Bissell Little Green and I've been in Heaven. It's like cleaning heaven in a little plastic contraption. Two thumbs up Bissell, two thumbs up.