Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Words to live by.....

I have this framed in my room with a picture of both of my girls. I should print it and hang it on the fridge and then put a copy in my purse and take it everywhere I go. Why can't I live these words??? I read them so often.....nonetheless, here it is....

Just For Today
by Sally Meyer

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face...
and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you wake up softly in your flannel p.j.'s...
and hold you until you are ready to stir.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear...
and I will say how beautiful you are.

Just for this morning,
I will step over the laundry to pick you up...
and take you to the park to play

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink...
and let you teach me how to put your puzzle together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off...
and sit with you in the garden
blowing bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you
scream and whine for the ice cream truck...
and I will buy you one, if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up...
I will simply love you for the joy you bring me

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me make cookies...
and I wont stand over you . . . trying to 'fix things.'

Just for this afternoon,
I will take you to McDonald's and buy us both a 'Happy Meal'...
so you can have two toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you the story of how you
were born...
and how much we love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the bathtub...
and I won't get angry when you pour water over your sister's

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late...
while we sit on the porch swing
and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will bring you glasses of water...
and snuggle beside you for hours...
and miss my favorite t.v. show.

And tonight when you are sleeping safe and warm in your bed,
I will think of the mothers and fathers
who mourn for the children they have lost.

I will remember the parents who sit by hospital beds,
watching over the little ones they love.

I will weep for those parents whose children are cold,
hungry and suffering,

and .... this evening,
when I kneel down to pray,
I will simply be grateful for all that I have

and not ask for anything...

except just one more day.

© copyright 1999 Sally Meyer

Monday, September 12, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Angel....

Today was my due date. I would have baby number three (or 4 technically), most likely in my arms. I'm a little sad about that, but I do take comfort knowing that I have two angels in Heaven watching over my two angels here on earth. However, it doesn't make it any easier. I guess with our first loss, grief was taken over by joy when I got pregnant with our sweet Sophia. This one has been a different process. Grief has set in for the long haul. I know there is no time period to get over any type of loss, so I'm allowing myself to feel it, but I sure wish I got to meet these little ones instead of the sorrow that came instead. Rylee continues to talk about and pray for our babies in Heaven. What a sweet heart she has. Her dinner time prayers mention them at least once a week. And if you didn't know, the babies are up there playing with our deceased cat Dylan. What fun! I'm glad they too havev a pet. Perhaps today is a bit harder because of all of the friends I have who were due date buddies and have been having their sweet babies. Followed by the tragic losses of 9/11 and all of the specials on tv. And the loss of a community member to cancer who have children not much older than mine. Seems like a sad time. I do know tomorrow is a new day, but my heart seems to break today. I certainly don't mean to be a debbie downer, but I think accepting and realizing what is going on around me is okay too. It's ok to be sad sometimes. As long as I can pick myself right back on up, right? I wore my special necklace today, although it's not much different from any other day. It has a disc with my girls names, Rylee and Sophia, along with two angels to represent our other angels. I write not for an "I'm sorry" or to bring anyone down, just to share my story and to comfort those who know what I'm feeling. It sure helps me to get it out. I am glad for the renewed life I'm seeing though. All of these new babies at this time comfort me in that it is the circle of life. Hug those babies tightly and love on them a bit extra for me. :)

In Him......