Monday, September 12, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Angel....

Today was my due date. I would have baby number three (or 4 technically), most likely in my arms. I'm a little sad about that, but I do take comfort knowing that I have two angels in Heaven watching over my two angels here on earth. However, it doesn't make it any easier. I guess with our first loss, grief was taken over by joy when I got pregnant with our sweet Sophia. This one has been a different process. Grief has set in for the long haul. I know there is no time period to get over any type of loss, so I'm allowing myself to feel it, but I sure wish I got to meet these little ones instead of the sorrow that came instead. Rylee continues to talk about and pray for our babies in Heaven. What a sweet heart she has. Her dinner time prayers mention them at least once a week. And if you didn't know, the babies are up there playing with our deceased cat Dylan. What fun! I'm glad they too havev a pet. Perhaps today is a bit harder because of all of the friends I have who were due date buddies and have been having their sweet babies. Followed by the tragic losses of 9/11 and all of the specials on tv. And the loss of a community member to cancer who have children not much older than mine. Seems like a sad time. I do know tomorrow is a new day, but my heart seems to break today. I certainly don't mean to be a debbie downer, but I think accepting and realizing what is going on around me is okay too. It's ok to be sad sometimes. As long as I can pick myself right back on up, right? I wore my special necklace today, although it's not much different from any other day. It has a disc with my girls names, Rylee and Sophia, along with two angels to represent our other angels. I write not for an "I'm sorry" or to bring anyone down, just to share my story and to comfort those who know what I'm feeling. It sure helps me to get it out. I am glad for the renewed life I'm seeing though. All of these new babies at this time comfort me in that it is the circle of life. Hug those babies tightly and love on them a bit extra for me. :)

In Him......

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