Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Sleep Circus

I half heartedly wrote this in my sleep last night. Wait, this morning. Sometime around 4 am. The Instigator slept through the night at 5 weeks. No really, 5 weeks. I'm not one of those boisterous mothers who brags about sleep for no good reason, she really did. However, because I bragged about it, the Silent Assassin arrived and gave me no less than 9 months of middle of the night misery. So what will "The Innocent" (Thank you Dawn DeStefano for the name) present us with? Time will tell. But so far, I'm not likin' it. She went a whole week doing a very nice 9pm-3 and 4am stretch. I thought, how nice, a girl could get used to this. Then, I talked about it. The fatal mistake. Two friends with babies, also new babies, came over and "Guess what she did last night, she slept from.....blah blah blah blah blah".....and bam, back up twice a night. I try to get my sorry self to bed and asleep by 9. Thankfully she likes to sit on her Daddy's lap with his foot shaking her no less than 100 shakes per minute, and his furnace body keeps her uber warm. So waking up at 2-3, not too shabby after a nice longer stretch like that. What gets me is the 4:30 feeding shortly after. And when I say short, I mean, short. That's just a cruel joke. Hey ma, look, no sleep. Then if that's not enough, we gotta do it again at 6:30?!?! I mean come on. I have no issues in the eating department. I don't need to graze and graze and graze. I don't do things half assed, no sir e. I eat my full meal, and then some, when presented with it. Then I hibernate. So this up night stuff, my dear third child, has got to stop. I always wake up hopeful, thinking, well, SURELY she will be exhausted today so we'll take a nap. Yes, I really said that. I know, I know, I'm super hilarious (or delusional). It doesn't happen. I spend my mornings holding, feeding, holding, feeding, get it. Throw in a few 10 minute fake out naps and it's lunchtime. I hold her, throw together some non-nutritional lunch for the poor Silent Assassin with one hand and the routine resumes. I some times get a long nap out of her, you know, in the car when there is no way in high heaven you can nap. Sigh. I'd definitely sell a kidney on the black market right now all in the name of a nap......over and out. The Innocent has woken up. Shocker.

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