Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Wow it's been a while....

So much has changed! We no longer have a toddler, nor do we have a baby. (insert sad sigh here)...however, we do now have a fun, outgoing crazy preschooler and her crazy counterpart. From here on out, we'll refer to them as "The Instigator" and "The Silent Assasin". And to clear up any confusion, yes, they're going to be on the next season of Jersey Shore, after all, a good nickname shouldn't go to waste. Just a few key points and I'll leave the rest for future posts.

A) The Instigator - She's good in action. Watch out for this one. She is the master of her own trade. The girl can con you into a cruddy hot wheels car with scratched paint and broken wheels faster than you can change a diaper. Yeah, you Mom's know what I'm talking about. Diaper changing, it can be done in 2 seconds flat in some situations. I often wonder how good I'd be in a pit crew at Nascar. Anyway, really, if you see The Instigator around, keep your hands on your purse and both eyes on her. Laugh now....but this 4 year old going on 14 knows a thing or two.

2) The Silent Assasin - Don't let the above description of The Instigator fool you. The Silent Assasin is holding her own. This crazy toddler (again, insert sad sigh here) has recently been known to clock The Instigator over the head with a little tykes iPod on the left temple and evened it out later that evening with a home phone. She moves quickly and quietly. She looks extremely sweet and innocent, but has also been known to pull a few con jobs herself. Her latest was sweetly going to the pantry to con Daddy into a second bag of "foo sna" (aka, fruit snacks) and we all know his nickname should be "The Sucker"....although, who am I fooling, so should mine.

D) Just a little update from my previous post about "the toddler", now "The Instigator". She can now have peanuts, she is now "big", but she's still working on the rest. Wine and boobs won't happen for a while. At least let's hope. The Silent Assasin, however, is allergic to the world. I'm sure you'll know all about that soon. We ride that roller coaster a lot. But hey, I'm a second child, so is my man, so really she's just pining for attention. It's hard with The Instigator. I'm all too familiar with that. You know who you are, however, you shall remain unnamed and can just smile at how you've passed this on to the next generation.

Stick around. I don't think you'll want to miss this.

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