Monday, February 9, 2009

Oh the things they say....

"When I get big I'm going to have wine, beer, gum, peanuts and Biiiiiig Boobies!" These are the things my toddler cannot have or does not have yet, but apparently is getting soon.

1: Wine - Rylee now associates a wine glass with "Mommy". I'm not sure what to think of this, but it cannot be good. After having loaned my body out for 9+ months, I feel I'm owed a glass a wine or two here and there, but the toddler has the memory of an elephant and thinks - wine is to Mommy like bottle is to baby.

2: Beer - Now, this one is not my fault and thank God, otherwise we'd have some AA meetings to look up. This is all Daddy and the association goes to him. Beer is to Daddy like....well you get the drift. We really don't drink like camels.

3: Gum - We do not chew gum that often. I feel like there is a trend here, we do not do this, we do not do that, but really, I'm telling the truth. The child just knows that she's not allowed to have gum, and for obvious reasons. Tiny chicklets found a home in her stomach. Does that stay around for 35 years since she had 5 or just the plain ole 7 years since they were in fact, tiny?!?!!? I simply send the question out into the void.

4: Peanuts: What is it, the American Board of Pediatrics who suggest that children should wait until X age to have these? Whatever it is, she learned she could have them when she gets "big".

5: Big Boobies: I'm blaming this one on nursing the infant. I do not now, nor have I ever, talked about the size of my female anatomy. But apparently she plans to have "big boobies" like Mommy when she gets big. I'll move on and leave it at that.

I'm hoping this isn't a sign for what's to come. I'm liable to find my child hanging out at a bar having wine, beer and bar nuts, followed by gum to mask the smell. And let's just hope the boobs aren't showcased. If you need me, I'll be at church praying.

Nothing on the infant today as I'm in shock.


  1. lol! big boobies? thats priceless!!!

  2. omg hahahaha! hayden learned the word boobies the other day - i about died. she was kicking me and i said 'ow stop hurting my boobies!' she responded with 'boobizies! boobizies!' and we of course lost it and she wouldn't stop saying it bc it was deemed hilarious. oh the joys when they can speak.