How long did I sleep?

Apparently I have a teenage girl and I didn't know it. In the last week, the following has happened with the Instigator. And she's not yet 6.

1 - After getting bags of clothes from our neighbor as hand me downs (thanks Leigha!) she decided one morning to try on the "bigger" ones. She came out with a big Hollister t-shirt (although saying "big" to a Hollister tshirt is an oxymoron)....and she also had on something that she thought was shorts that say "cheer" on the rear. I'm thinking these were/are really panties. Anyway, she has her shirt hanging off of her shoulder, tied up on one side with a rubberband and the cheer "shorts". I say, oh, I see you found the bag of clothes?!?!? She said yes, I want more shirts like......as she pulls it off her shoulder more. She's got another thing comin' if she thinks I'm going to allow her out of the house lookin' like that!!

2 - Just as I get over the tshirt incident thinking, oh that's funny, she informs her Pawpaw, and me and Daddy while overhearing this phone conversation, that she is in fact dating a boy. A teenage boy and he's 18 and they "go out". WHAT? Dave immediately says "you better not be or we're going to have some problems"......and I do know she is speaking of Kendall from Big Time Rush, aka BTR, but I do prefer that she doesn't broadcast this information.

3 - I'm sitting at morning assembly today and sat next to her friend's Dad. I didn't realize I had been sitting by him until he says "I hear Rylee has a birthday coming up".....I said, she does! He says to me "M came home telling me that Rylee is having a party and there will be teenagers there", to which a good Dad responded with "ummm, then you're not going". I had to clarify that she meant that she wants to have a few of the local Drill Team girls (Cavalettes) come and teach the girls a little routine and perform for the parents, thus the "teenagers".

How will I ever survive the real teenage years? She already rolls her eyes, tells me "that's embarassing" and asked me the other day where her bra was. (Grammy bought that one for her, not me)......holy monkey, where's the tylenol.