And so it begins....

Perhaps I should rename the Instigator to The Sass-master. It's a name I'm thinking of copyrighting. We recently spent a fun day out with the girls. On our way home we stopped into the gas station for something. As Dave runs in, I hear an old familiar tune. So naturally, I pump up the volume. Now, the girls aren't really digging it like I am, but that's ok. At least for the moment it's not Kidz Bop. Dave returned to the car to get in on the action. He's just as thrilled as I am. And I want to say it's Journey playing. Who wouldn't jam to Journey? It really is moot. As we're pulling out I hear an awesome drum solo and decide that I too, need to have my own drum solo using my hands and steering wheel. You just sometimes have to make do. As I wrap up my totally awesome solo my Sass-master, ahem Rylee, rolls her eyes at me and says, and I quote "Ummmm, embarrassing!!!!" Embarrassing I say? You don't KNOW embarrassing! I proceeded to tell her that if she thought that was bad, and at only 5, she has a lifetime of problems ahead of her and that I will make a point to bring back the running man and roger rabbit at her 6th grade dance if she calls me embarrassing again. Now I don't really mean that, I mean, I'd much rather bring back the funky chicken. I kid, I kid. I wouldn't do that to my girls, but it sure was fun to say right back to the sass-master herself.

Bone to pick...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Dora, I am beginning to think you don't listen to me. I commended you for performing and putting on such a wonderful and educating show, however, I have already asked you to pipe down. For instance, when Benny the Cow has the hiccups and is running around yelling "Hiiiiii cccuuupppp, ohhhhhh", it is in no way, shape or form an invitation for you to tell MY KIDS to "YELL" while counting to 10. Not to mention, counting 1, 2 3....and so on isn't going to get rid of these said hiccups. Perhaps the real problem is that you're talking to a cow in the first place? I'll move past that for a minute to again address this issue that I have with yelling. My children already cannot distinguish between inside vs. outside voice, so when you come into my house telling them to yell the numbers 1 through 10 to help Benny the Cow get rid of these hiccups, you are really, well, ticking me off. How is this appropriate? When you get home, will your mother approve of this yelling in her house? I think not. So if you want to continue to yell things at your supposed friends, who are cows and a weird monkey in boots, then so be it, but let's leave my children out of it por favor. Comprende? I also would like to take this moment to address the real issue at hand because let's face it, it seems that you just have a lack of parenting here. We very rarely see your parents. Perhaps they work, perhaps they are at home making a good home cooked meal, point is, they have not taught you well. Sure, you can count and you can get through the rainbow forest to the magic mountain only navigating with "Map" while singing a pretty little diddy for your Map friend, but honestly, I think it's time to go home and spend some quality time with good ole Mommy and Poppy. Perhaps then you would know the following:
1) you need not befriend random animals
2) these journey's your going on are unsafe for someone your age
3) again you're yelling and teaching others that this is in fact "okay"

I don't mean to come down on you and sound so harsh, after all, my girls aren't perfect, but I sure as heck don't let them yell as much as you do. And for what its worth, I bet cows don't really get the hiccups. So grab your map and your magic backpack and head on home. Dinners on the table.