Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mom vs. Dad

I've been a little MIA with a sick hubby, but not to worry, our trials and tribulations are back in full effect.....that is to say they ever stopped?

As I've been playing nurse to my husband lately and two sick little girls, I've been doing a lot of running around and thinking. I'm standing in our dining room the other day folding laundry, because let's face it, you get a formal dining room and use it what, 5 days out of the year? We might use it more only because my family lives nearby and there are a lot of us. But most of the year, let's say probably 355 days, it's our laundry room overflow area. After all, it's much easier to go grab a pair of PJ's off of the table than to walk that extra 20 feet to the girls' dresser. That's it, you found me out, my dirty little secret. I'm Alison, I'm OCD about cleanliness yet my dining room table is an extension of my closet most days. I'm so ashamed....well, not really, but doesn't that feel good to admit. I should have titled this the confessions post. Anyway, back to my point. Mom vs. Dad. I'm standing there and the hubby, aka The Saver, comes in and asks what he can help with. I give him some jammies and say, please put these on Sophia and wished him all the luck in the world. Jammie time for me means getting in my pre-workout by chasing her around the house and trying to rope her in. Once I get my grip on her I have approximately 5 seconds to whip the top and bottoms on before the octopus effect. You know, while trying to put an arm in one hole the other one comes out or you get a massive kick in the gut somehow from a flying limb. The kind that knocks your breath out and you're left thinking, where the H E double hockey sticks did that come from? Anyway, he's off and I'm laughing. After all, I'd rather be in the laundry, er, dining room folding laundry than chasing after the Silent Assassin for jammie time. As I begin to smirk he walks back in. What? WHAT? He's back and I start to boil thinking he didn't complete the task at hand. So I ask, what? And he says "what" back. Then he says "what's so hard about that". DOH! He walked in and simply says to her "it's jammie time", she lays on the floor and in that same 5 seconds that I have before the beast is unleashed, they're done. Why. Just.......why. *sigh*

Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's too darn quiet in here....

That's right, I said quiet. First day back at Preschool. Well, first day ever for Sophia. No girls means no chasing each other in circles around the coffee table, no Elmo Kids Songs 2, no fighting over who gets to carry around my iPhone and mess it all up. It's just quiet. And I actually miss the noise. Well, maybe I don't miss having my phone all gooed up from sticky fingers, but I do miss them. Let me say that this is temporary insanity, it's just a set back, and I know I should enjoy it. My day before preschool went a little something like this.

9:30 am - In the car and on the way to storytime at Barnes and Noble, things are looking good so far.
10:25 am - Rush into Barnes and Noble for storytime, rip a few books and other various products off the shelf on our way and finally sit down.
10:30 am - Storytime begins.
10:32 am - Continue ripping books off shelves, lay down a few times on the benches, get a few crazy looks from other Moms.
10:37 am - Rip both girls up by the arms and storm out of B&N, stopping a few times to lecture about how NOT to act at storytime.
10:40 am - Lecture continues. I'm not over it.
10:45 am - Cross the street to the Library to return a few things. Pray things get better.
10:50 am - Both girls screaming and laughing and running around the library.
10:51 am - Run into two old HS friends and hang my head as I comment about my crazy girls who are now playing hide and seek.
10:55 am - Lecture continues.....and some more. But this time about Library etiquette.
11:10 am - Full blown grocery shopping underway. Both girls begin their grocery store lunch by eating a banana. Two aisles later, the Silent Assasin has become the I'm-going-to-make-this-hell-for-Mom kid screaming up and down every aisle.
11:15 am - On the verge of tears myself, I rip open the nearest box of snacks I can find. Ahhh, peace and quiet.....for oh, about half an aisle.
11:16 am - Resume screaming fit. This time with arms up in the air as if to say "pick me up you stupid lady" and scream for "aeyie" (aka, lovie). Please note from a previous post that "aeyie" was lost at this very HEB, so "aeyie" is no longer allowed onto the scene of the crime.
11:20 am - Screaming continues and does so for the next 10 aisles. A few "I feel sorry for you" and "you're a horrible Mom" and "geez lazy pick up your kid" glances later, I'm at the register, both girls are running around, playing the HEB sticker crane drop game and getting their non-deserved balloon.

11:57 am - In the car and I'm now crying.

Yet today. I miss them. I'm off to get my head checked.